If testosterone level alone is the judge of masculinity, then the family man is less masculine than the unmarried bachelor. Studies show that testosterone levels decline in men after marriage and children.
Are you a family man? If you are then you are probably going through the following phases.
Did you begin to feel settled after you have had your first child? Or maybe the calming effect already started to take effect right after marriage? You probably felt less excited, had almost made peace with your anger issues and don’t feel like breaking anything anymore after a tiny verbal spat with your better half.
You turned more responsible, emotionally attached, grounded, empathetic and loving once you had a family. You soon realised that you had become wise and thoughtful and the young impulsive macho man in you was already a past tense. But the tacit absence of excitedness, once in a while, also made you feel like you had become less of a man with passing time.
Your diagnosis may not be totally wrong. Your testosterone levels are taking a dip and the downward descent had started the day you secured a loving woman to spend the rest of your life with. Yes, studies show that married family men have lower testosterone levels than unmarried bachelors who haven’t yet secured a wife for themselves. Even divorced men who are once again on the search for an eligible woman have higher testosterone levels than married men and fathers.
Since, testosterone is taken as the symbolic representation of manhood, any changes in its levels in the body is interpreted as a shift in manhood. More the circulating levels of testosterone more masculine a man is and vice versa. Perhaps it is this ebb and flow of testosterone accompanying the changing situations of a man’s social life that projects itself as his morphing masculinity.
By that logic the family man with a loving wife and adorable children is less masculine than the unmarried bachelor on the lookout for a new mate.
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly side of high testosterone levels in men
When a young man is of age and ready to look for a mate the high circulating testosterone levels in his body work to make him appear attractive to the opposite sex. Testosterone promotes the growth and development of secondary sexual characters in men, all of which signal his sexual readiness and appeal to young fertile women. Competitive nature and risk-taking behaviour, which are also outcomes of high testosterone, come in handy during the “Great Mate Finding Adventure” of bachelor life.
High testosterone levels in men cause mood changes, aggression, high sex drive, violent and risk-taking behaviour, among other things. However, none of the above attributes are conducive to the development of a happy and harmonious married life. Women may like the thrill of it when they are dating but when it comes down to settling down and starting a family such men get disqualified and they often end up taking a divorce. Parenting demands empathy, emotional investment and a much gentler approach from new fathers.
You will be amazed to know that testosterone – the magic hormone linked to all forms of masculinity – in excess can lead to the emergence of traits that are viewed as less masculine. They include low sperm counts, shrinking testicles, impotence, weight gain and prostate enlargement (a sign of old age, eh!). It also increases the risk of cancer, heart and liver diseases.
What studies say about testosterone levels in men after marriage and children?
A 1993 study done on US Army veterans found that those of them that married and entered family life had less circulating blood testosterone than those that stayed single. Another study on US Air Force veterans found that testosterone levels spiked after divorce. A 2006 study in Beijing showed that unmarried men had higher salivary testosterone levels than married non-fathers and fathers.
The most elaborate study on this topic was done in the Philippines on a population living in and around Cebu city. Participants were followed from a young age until the time they married and started a family.
It is normal for testosterone levels to decline with age. After the age of 30 testosterone levels dip by 1-2% each year. But after marriage and children men show a sharp fall in testosterone levels. Moreover, fathers who spent more time with their children showed larger drops than fathers who spent comparatively less time with their kids.
Somehow high testosterone levels are linked to mate finding behaviour in men. Once the need to find a mate is eliminated testosterone levels dip. High testosterone levels conflicts with care giving behaviours expected from new fathers under the current social fabric. Our neuroendocrine system rolled out this trade-off between testosterone levels and care giving behaviours when human fathers got directly involved in childcare roles.
Our nearest surviving relatives, the chimpanzee, show no prominent paternal care behaviour. It is believed that hominin fathers started caring for their offspring much later in the tree of evolution some 2 million years ago around the time they started migrating out of Africa.
Lowering testosterone levels in fathers is not something utterly uncommon though. Human fathers are no different from bird fathers in this aspect. Father birds are well known for their intense childcare routines and they too like us show lowering in blood testosterone levels after the chicks emerge from the eggs. Since human children continue to be dependent on their parents well into the second decade of their lives testosterone levels in men stay low for a long period of time. Hence, the dip that appears after marriage and gets more prominent after fatherhood is there to stay, unless there is a divorce. Then scopes for new sexual endeavours open up for these men and testosterone levels rise again.
Being exposed to lower levels of blood testosterone through a large phase of their prime, married men and fathers experience comparatively lower risks of certain health hazards, such as prostate cancer and high cholesterol, that are the direct outcome of high circulating testosterone levels. Thus, declining testosterone levels after marriage and fatherhood is normal and even beneficial for health.
If testosterone level alone is the judge of masculinity, then the family man is less masculine than the unmarried bachelor. Then again, masculinity is not the sole definition of a man, there are other attributes too – as the philosopher would say!